Passive Aggressive Club
June 28th, 2009A couple of years ago, I was part of a running club. I figured that it would help with motivation to run with a group rather than solo. Plus I thought that I would learn some new techniques or eliminate bad habits.
As the weeks went by, my speed and stamina improved. I did a couple 10K races and had entered myself in a 10 mile race. One morning during training, I lost focus for a couple seconds while crossing the street, and stepped into a concrete tree planter– my ankle went sideways and all my weight came down and twisted it.
I had to pull out of the race, but a few weeks later, I was back with the group. Although now I was at the back of the pack on a hot, sunny day while trekking uphill. Two things that challenge me are the heat and gradients– and even a minor incline is something you notice.
A girl came up to me and said something interesting, “Don’t even feel inferior.” Of course, if you knew this type of person– catty, mentally weak, probing for weakness– you’d understand what she really meant: “Please feel inferior to help me displace my own negative feelings that I can’t handle.”
Layoff aside, I kicked it into a higher gear and took off at a higher pace. First I put 100 meters between us, then 200, 300. But I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure I would be ahead. I sprinted through traffic lights to make sure I didn’t catch red lights instead of being happy to take a rest.
I felt relieved when I reached the running store where we met before and after the runs. I sat there, drinking my bottle of water when she came in– and in a voice loud enough for me to hear, proclaimed, “My quad is sore”– her excuse for lagging behind. As she said it I spit my mouthful of water into the planter next to me in disgust of her poor sportsmanship.
The next week, the weather was cooler and I ran an even better time, with the woman who was rude to me finishing even further behind. But all the small things that I disliked about the running group were crystallized by that one woman’s attitude. I made excuses and stopped going, eventually realizing that even though I showed up and ran the distance, I didn’t share much in common with the other members.
It’s funny how one person’s negativity can motivate us or make us seek out greener pastures. I have to say that I learned a lot from the experience of that running club, but the most important lesson was that I avoid the herd and take things at my own pace.













